


Broken

by orphan_account



Category: Rush (2013)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1945974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a deprecating article about James goes live, he doesn't take it well. This is based off of a tumblr prompt...I was going to say something else here but I forgot...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

Niki walked into the house, finally putting his briefcase down after a long day in negotiations for the airline. He went to the living room, expecting to see James watching TV, but he wasn’t. Niki looked in the kitchen, but no sign of the blonde. He even looked in the backyard, but didn’t see him in a lawn chair, or any signs of him coming from the aviary. Niki was confused to say the least. 

“James? James where are you?” Niki called out, going down the hallway. He went in the bedroom, flicking on the light switch. Although James wasn’t in there he now knew where the blonde was by the state of the bedroom. The bed was all undone, one of the pillows was ripped open. A bedside lamp was knocked to the floor along with the trophies on the dresser.

Niki quietly went to the bathroom, even outside it being able to hear James crying. He opened the door slowly, not wanting to startle James. The blonde in question was sitting on the floor of the shower, in a fetal position. Niki approached quietly, putting his hand on James back and carefully rubbing it. 

“James, what happened, what’s wrong?” Niki asked. He knew it took something big to get James worked up this badly, the only time he had seen it like this was back in the flat if Formula Three, and frankly it had scared him half to death. Most people saw the side of James portrayed in the media, the partying, formerly womanizing, racecar driver. But those people never saw the real James Hunt. They also never saw him get like this, but that’s because it is a closely guarded secret, the only ones knowing the full extent were Niki and Alexander Hesketh. James still hadn’t replied to Niki’s prompting though. So he talked to him again. “Come on James, you have to tell me what is wrong or I can’t help.”

“W-why do you e-evenc-care? You-You’ll just leave me like ev-everyone else. Just l-like everyone else.” James sobbed out. 

Niki rubbed James while thinking of a response, he looked around before spotting something. It was a magazine opened to an article toward the opening of the shower. It was Suzy talking about her life with James, and from what Niki could see, it wasn’t very nice. Niki slid it a little closer to himself, skimming it. Niki was beyond livid, she was downright insulting him saying things like “I obviously didn’t know he was a poof, he was a womanizer, fucking anything that had a pulse.” and “Really this new fling of his should watch out, the only creatures he really cares about are his birds.” Niki could have spit. Suzy and James had been civil, so had Richard Burton, but When Suzy had found out about James and Niki’s relationship, she had turned venomous. But this was beyond cruel. 

“James, you can’t let her get to you, you know she wants to get under your skin but you can’t let her.” Niki assured softly.

“You don’t get it, she’s right. Everyone leaves me because I’m broken, everyone I love goes away because I’m a fuck-up. I’m hurt everyone who tries to get close, especially you, I almost killed you because I’m the one who swayed the room, and I insulted you, and you crashed. Because I’m the fire that burned you. I don’t know why you don’t leave. I’ll only keep hurting you.” James choked out, visibly shaking with self loathing. 

“Because when you truly love someone you can’t let them go. Because they are the light of your world. You want to know something? After Nurburgring, you were the first person to look me in the eyes. Not even Marlene could for a long time. You know why you could? Because you didn’t see ‘Niki Lauda the driver with half a face, who almost died,’ you saw ‘Niki Lauda your pig-headed Austrian rival, friend, and eventual lover.’ You reminded me that I was still myself. James, you are still the loving, handsome, caring, passionate about birds, shunting, race winning, dog loving, super star. No matter what that stupid cunt says about you. She couldn’t appreciate how wonderful you are. You’re not perfect, but no one is. I stay with you because you’re the love of my life, my asshole. Now come on, let’s get you to bed.” 

“You’re lying though! You can’t love me, you can’t love someone who’s broken.”

“Then there’s no way you can love me.”

“What? That-” James was cut off by Niki.

“I’m broken, aren’t I? I mean my body is, I have the scars, and the burned lungs. I wake up screaming from nightmares, I still can’t function in storms. Am I unlovable? No, because I know that you love me. You;re the one who stayed with me for three days straight when I was contemplating suicide. Everyone is broken James, I am, you are, Ronnie is, and even thought the bitch doesn't think so, Suzy is, she obviously is more because she has to call out someone else's “faults” to get attention. But we are made better, we can be fixed up by love, and you know what? I love you James Simon Wallis Hunt, and if you ever, EVER doubt that again, you will sleep with Oscar.” 

James had stopped crying, and swept up Niki in a bear hug, starting to shed light tears of joy. They stayed like that all night, eventually falling asleep in the shower, locked in a tight embrace each broken, but made whole by the other.

**Author's Note:**

> Liked this fic? Want to read more fic? Want to read more HarpoMarx fic? Well check out my other fics on my profile, or check me out on tumblr (formulaoneautor)


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